From: SandyTesha@aol.com
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2001 08:55:27 EDT
Subject: Final Update....

Sunday, September 16, 2001

Today I went to church.

For those of you who know me, know that I am NOT a religious person at ALL.
Spiritual perhaps, but I have been pretty much devoid of all organized
religion since high school. The only times I have attended church service
since being in New York has been on Easter Sunday each year, not unusual for
many people here I've found. Today the church was more crowded than I'd ever
seen it for any Easter service. I think SO many people were "desperate" for
hope, strength, inspiration to go on, ANYTHING after seeing what we've seen.
I attended the Riverside Church at 120th Street, a non-denominational,
interracial church. The Reverend James Forbes is a passionate Martin Luther
King type of speaker. His sermon was excellent - caring and passionate about
the tragedy, yet very aware that we must all go on no matter what - and he
managed to work in a couple of hilarious anecdotes somehow also. The
congregation was either laughing or crying at any given point. It was so
inspirational and uplifting, and good to be around other New Yorkers feeling
the same thing I was.

The music was also so very well chosen and emotional. I don't know where
they found the hymns for this service, but perhaps they were a bit TOO
appropriate. This one was sung to the tune of Sibelius' "Finlandia"
(slightly slowed down of course!), of all things (kindof brought back those
youth orchestra days):

"We would be building, temples still undone
o'er crumbling walls, their crosses scarcely lift
waiting till love can raise the broken stone
and hearts creative bridge the human rift.
We would be building architect divine,
reveal the shape of life in your design.

Teach us to build, upon the solid rock
we set the dream that hardens into deed.
Ribbed with fine steel, both time and change to mock,
the unfailing purpose of our noblest creed.
Teach us to build, O maker lend us sight
to see the towers gleaming in the light."

Personally I read this from a non-religious point of view, building not
temples to a god, but building this country into what it is today (as opposed
to what the terrorists think is an ideal state), to what those Twin Towers
represented to New York and America. So the bit about "bridging the human
rift" and also the lines about the steel and the gleaming towers hit home a
bit too literally today. In looking around the congregation I saw not too
many people singing - because we are all still very emotional.

At the end of the service, instead of the usual organ music that was listed
in the bulletin, a piano was heard. Then this African-American woman in
choir robes came forward and sang this slow gospel/spiritual in the most
beautiful, clear, soprano voice I have ever heard in my life. How someone
can breath and sing so beautifully when everyone around you is completely
crumbling with emotion is beyond me. A friend said, maybe that's just how
she lets it all out. I wish I could let it out that way. The entire church
was in tears. At the end everyone jumped out of the pews, giving her a
standing ovation.

Another friend wrote (mind if I quote you Neil?): "After focusing on supreme
evil, it is yet another function of great art to get us out of this
depression. Architecture, sculpture, music, literature, and poetry all have
the ability to alter our emotions even in the most severe of times such as
now. It isn't denial, but rather a coping mechanism... Life is full of
extremes, but take a minute to balance yourself from so much sadness and cry
for the sake of beauty..."

This is exactly what I saw happening today. I went home and instead of
putting on the news I listened to some of the Duruflé and Fauré Requiems
while I read the Times - chock full of full-page ads from corporations and
individuals offering their sympathy and support. My favorite was Kmarts,
covering the entire back of the front section of the paper. It was a
full-color American flag, at the bottom it read: "Instructions for use:
Remove from newspaper. Place in window. EMBRACE FREEDOM." At the top of
the flag were the words "THIS SIDE UP". Maybe they should distribute these
in Chinatown (see Saturday's email).

Then I put on Frank Sinatra, a Sunday ritual while cleaning, and opened my
windows and cranked it when "New York, New York" came on.
Memorials and services like the one I attended were going on all over the
city (a few Sarasota Opera colleagues played in the services/mass at St.
Patricks), and will be continuing the next couple of days, if not longer.
Mayor Rudy is set on opening the NYSE and surrounding businesses downtown
tomorrow at 9am, so we shall see. I did my nails tonight as I always do on a
Sunday night (except the X-files weren't on, something that usually
accompanies my weekly shellacking), hoping that tomorrow will bring some
calls for appointments. I plan to run errands and go grocery shopping as I
would on any other day. Later in the week some friends and I may try to
sneak in to see "The Producers", since tourists have basically left the city
Broadway shows have had less than full audiences. Although "Springtime for
Hitler and Germany" may be a bit off-color right now, all things considered,
I think we all need a good laugh.

I hope you all had a great weekend despite the tragedy. Thanks again for
being there to listen, and also for offering your words of wisdom and
support. It has helped me tremendously this past week.

Love,
Sandy

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From: SandyTesha@aol.com
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2001 08:54:04 EDT
Subject: Addendum to Final Update

Hi again from Manhattan,

One week has passed since I turned on the news to see what the weather would
be like and first learned of what had happened to the World Trade Center.
Yesterday, Monday, was a pretty normal day. I actually had a couple
appointments and stopped by to see Carmen, my TV agent. They have offices on
the 23rd floor of the Lincoln Building on 42nd Street, and watched the towers
collapse from their windows. Two of her other models knew so many people in
the buildings. Her assistant had a small silver statue of the WTC on his
desk.

BooBoo (my cat) is doing OK (for those of you who don't know she has kidney
failure and I have had to inject her with IV fluids every day - not being
very successful last week as it is hard to stab your cat with the world
crashing down around you), and Monday for the first time I got her to sit
still long enough to get 100ml of the fluids in her. (Dad you would be
proud!)

I thought it would be the first time I would not cry over this tragedy, but
last night on the news they showed the cover of The New Yorker magazine and I
started weeping again.

The memorials I speak of in the next email are going on all week around the
country. Sunday there is a Fireman's Memorial in Central Park that is
expected to draw over one million people.

Keep writing and letting me know what's going on with you and in your towns
and cities. Thanks again for helping me through this week.

Love,
Sandy

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